a birthday party

Tonight we had a birthday party for the dogs… Check out Sandie’s blog for pictures and description. Sandie and kids came over to help us and dogs celebrate.

Two years ago…

we were getting ready for our embryo transfer, finally. After months of waiting, months of delays, months of injection after injection… it was finally happening.

Yesterday in church I met the daughter of a church member, who was going through infertility treatments when we were going through the embryo transfer. Only, their treatments were successful, and they have a beautiful baby boy to prove it. Meeting them was good, as I had prayed for them back then… and she said she continues to pray for us, now. Meeting them was good, because they are the daughter/son-in-law/grand-son of members. But meeting them was also difficult, as it reminded me that we could have a beautiful baby (over a year) now… but don’t.

So in this prolonged season (do “seasons” actually last more than two/three years?) of waiting, I am sometimes sad. I have been able, recently, to put my feelings about childlessness in a box on the shelf until I have time to deal with them again. Been able, or had no choice, not sure which. In order to keep moving forward with life, while waiting for this endless adoption process to come to a joyful end, I’ve had to put my feelings away for the time-being. But last night the box fell off the shelf, and the feelings came tumbling out, making a huge mess. And I’m feeling sad today. Sad, and pressed, and crushed.

How long, O God? How long?