Overwhelmed.

Overwhelmed by all the to-do lists….. all over the house.

Overwhelmed by everything on the lists.

Overwhelmed by the excitement of meeting Kajsa.

Overwhelmed by the state of the house. Pretty funny.

Overwhelmed by God’s grace, evident through my friends, family, my yahoo adoption travel groups, the dogs, strength to keep moving these days…

Overwhelmed by how hard life is, still. Even with God’s grace.

Overwhelmed with sadness, at the upcoming move of good friends.

Overwhelmed by how long this wait has been. And that many people I know are frustrated and tired and exhausted by their waits.

Overwhelmed by how much love already surrounds Kajsa, and how many people are–and have been–praying for her.

Overwhelmed by how many peanut butter M&M meals I have had in the past 2 weeks.

Overwhelmed by the fact that in less than 6 days we leave!

Overwhelmed…. and yet excited. I can hardly wait.

and slow down again.

Ok, run full speed…. and now, sloooow down. As if the adoption roller coaster isn’t long enough, with enough highs and lows up to this point…

The excitement and even the stress of thinking we were leaving June 9th or 10th was huge. It became the only thing we could think about (which was a nice break!), meeting Kajsa before she even turned 11 months old. Well, no longer. Turns out that we probably should never have received an email saying we might travel next week–because it wasn’t even possible!

We found out a few days ago that we probably would not be traveling next week. Then yesterday morning we found out that we cannot travel until the week of June 22nd. Sigh. So, Jim and his father are working on flight itineraries, and hopefully we can confirm today. As soon as we have the confirmed date of travel and return from China, I’ll post it.

The bad news: we felt misled, we got all excited for nothing, we won’t meet Kajsa as soon as we thought last Friday. (At this age, babies change constantly, and we simply don’t want to miss another day of her life.)

The good news: some things on our to-do lists that automatically got crossed off last Friday can now, maybe, be done! We have more time to get flights, to pack more efficiently, to work on the house…

And the best news: we’re still on our way to meet Kajsa!

faster and faster and faster

We received an email from our agency on Friday afternoon that our Travel Approvals (TA) arrived! This means that China has approved our travel to their country. Now we wait for the agency and the American Consulate in Guangzhou (CHINA) to set up our appointment… then everything works backwards from there.

BUT, the big news in that email from the agency, was that we could be leaving as early as next week! COULD be. It all depends on the consulate appointments.

Needless to say, we’re in speed-up/stressed-out/excited-beyond-belief/prioritizing mode. Obviously there are some things that will not get done at this point, before we bring Kajsa home. Then there are some things that have to be done before we leave. So, after years of waiting, we’re finally on the fast track, and it seems a bit out of control. Yet fun at the same time.

Jo Ann was here last week and she and I rearranged some furniture in the dining room/mess room/and living room. Now I need to rearrange the junk that belongs in those rooms. Last night I officially finished painting Kajsa’s room, and today I’ll touch up her crib with white paint, before putting that in the room.

So, here goes! faster and faster and faster…

What should we name her?

Ok, this is purely for fun. Don’t worry… we will pick the name that we, Jim and Cathy, think is the best fit for our daughter. But we also thought it’d be fun to have a poll on the blog.
So, which name do you like best?
Click on this “Click Here/Cast your Vote” button below, and cast your vote. And check back for the name.. someday!

And, in case you need to look at her face to choose your favorite name:

Have fun!

And many thanks to Dave, for creating the poll for me!!

Freaking out a little

We’re waiting.. not passively. We have so much stuff to do, work-wise, home-wise, etc. I’m off to Grand Rapids this weekend for a Board of Benevolence meeting. But “matching” has begun with the CCAA (China Center for Adoption Affairs). Which means we could hear–soon– about a referral. Or not, which is more freaky. Could be us.. might not be us… could be this week… might not be this week. A little freaky. A little freaking out. A messy house, a baby’s/kid’s room mostly painted (walls painted, but now I have to do the design I’m trying), many piles of stuff, an hourly check of the computer to see if there’s any news on Rumor Queen (chinaadopttalk.com). Freaking out.

But excited.

Craziness

So behind… I know, most of us are. But I’m feeling a bit out-of-control, I’m so behind.

I’m working on the kid’s nursery. Gasp. Big step. HUGE step. Emotionally, I have not been able to even think about that room for so many years, that to actually work on it now feels good. And yet a little freaky, too. A little crazy. Not sure if I should take that step, and yet I kind of have to. We kind of have to.

Why? you may wonder… well, for those who only read this blog and get the rare email correspondence from me… it seems as though our referral could be coming soon! Maybe, MAYBE in May… That’s all I’m going to say about it, because that’s craziness as well.

So, if that happens, when that happens, we travel approximately 6-8 weeks after we accept the referral.

Things are getting into high gear.

Otherwise, life is life. The house is a disaster zone–we should just put that “Caution” tape in front to warn any would-be-visitors. Trying to organize, de-clutter to make room for kid stuff, moving the office downstairs and making a nursery, painting the kitchen… plastic bins full of items we’re taking to China with us… it’s crazy.

But again, feels good.

Last week Jim and I attended an adoption conference in Chicago. so we went a day early, and went to the Cubs game , with Jo Ann and Ken. FUN. Cubs won… Derrek Lee Bobble Head doll to the first 10,000 fans! So I made poor Jim and Jo Ann go to the game early–2 hours early, so we could be one of those first 10,000 fans.. but we got our Derrek Lee Bobble Head dolls! And we were there early enough, then, to enjoy batting practice. It was so fun. I love the Cubbies… I love Wrigley… I love beautiful days and good friends…

So, off to more craziness.

I hope all of you are surviving your various crazy situations.

Year of the Rat? Really?

Happy Chinese New Year… maybe this year has more than 11 months, I don’t know actually. I haven’t done that much research. What I do know is that the thought of getting our child in the year of the Rat doesn’t sound that appealing. the Rat.. really? Ok, so some have toned it down and said it’s the year of the “Mouse”. Cuter, in my opinion. But let’s call it what it is: a rat.

So here’s what I figure. First of all, rats aren’t so bad. I have friends who have pet rats.. and I have held these critters. Kind of cute in their own way. Then there’s Templeton, the rat in the book and movie “Charlotte’s Web”. I love this guy. So, rat’s aren’t so bad. Second, recent Chinese New Year animals included: pig, dog, rooster, monkey… I like all these animals. But let’s face it: none of these animals have served us well, in terms of adopting our child. So, the way I see it, though rats get a bad reputation, and though our daughter will hopefully have been born in the year of the pig (though it could have been dog or rooster..), the Year of the Rat just might pull through.

Check out the Lenten Views photo a day web gallery…. somewhere on there is my photo of Chinese New Year, at least here at our house. As well as great photos by other photographer friends.

2 Year LID Annniversary

2 years of waiting, after more than 3 years of already waiting.

1 more visit to Milwaukee’s Immigration Office to re-do our fingerprints. (and one more to come, probably, since our re-fingerprints expire in June ‘08).

24 email updates from our agency, each one with worst news than the last one.

Many delayed plans, but 2 vacations because of the delays…

Countless days and nights of tears.

Approximately 600 times I tried to give up hope, then tried to hope, then tried to give it up again.

“Happy”-2-Year-LID-Anniversary to Us.”

Whatever.

when you wait for a child for too long…

 you park in these spots…  and you think it’s funny. Jim dropped me off at the mall, then parked here. I love it.