repentance

I did take this photo yesterday! But as I was writing this blog, I literally fell asleep. So here’s what I was writing.

Thurs., March 4th

What’s the connection between garbanzo beans and a clock? Easy: time. I don’t have enough of it–none of us do. At least that’s what we often say. Yet, repentance calls for a complete turning around. Not just blogging about it, talking about it, reading about it, and praying about it. Doing it. Repenting.. Turning around. It’s an action–ongoing, because our sin is ongoing.

I’d rather blog, talk, read, and pray about it. Because for me, part of my repentance this Lent needs to involve changing my sleeping (or non-sleeping) habits. I’d rather go to bed late than early. Which then affects my days and my nights and my family and my health (fatigue and fibromyalgia) and what I can and can’t do the next day. Like, eat healthier. It sounds dumb, but hear me out–when I’m more fatigued, I have less energy to intentionally eat healthy.

This is where the garbanzo beans come in. I could, technically, make hummus. It’s a fairly healthy Middle Eastern dip that could give more energy. Lasting energy. The hard part is, I’ve let myself get stuck in this vicious cycle of being too tired… going to bed too late… eating unhealthy foods… and not having the energy to jump out of the cycle and change my patterns. To turn around, repent..

So, here I go.. thinking about, blogging about, probably looking up a recipe about garbanzo beans/hummus.  Let’s hope I make the time to reTHINK my time and patterns by repenting, and reADJUSTING what I do.

this is my knitting…on drugs

During HR (Hysterectomy Recuperation), Jen taught me how to knit. I used to know how to knit slippers-I made several pairs of slippers for Christmas presents when I was younger. Much younger. But that’s all I knew how to knit. And I have long envied Jen’s cool felted knit projects. So Jen taught me how to knit, and I knit a fun bag.. with handles, that I then (with Jen’s help) felted–which means you wash the wool-knit-project in hot water until it has shrunk to the desired size… squeeze the water out, shape it, and let it dry. It’s great.

The bag I did fairly well on. Not perfect, but not bad for the first time making a bag. But the handles? I could barely keep the seven stitches on the needles, I added extra stitches, I dropped the needles several times, I knit the wrong way. It was a riot, only because Jen was there to watch me knit the first handle, and to correct my mistakes. I felt dumb, and told Jen, to which she replied, “Cathy, you are on Vicodin right now.” oh yeah.

The next day I knit the second handle. No problems. Jen wasn’t even around to help, should I mess up–but it was, basically, a breeze. I laughed, remembering that for handle #2, I was NOT on Vicodin.

Can you tell which handle is which?

First Major Cold, Day 9

Both of us. Kajsa and I, that is. Last week Jim was out of town for meetings,

and Kajsa and I both came down with a horrible cold that kept us house-bound for days.

At least the past couple of days we have been leaving the house and attending various other functions (don’t worry, I’m trying not to infect others). It’s good to get out of the house. It’s good to be better. It’s a bummer to still feel slightly under-the-weather. But welcome to winter, welcome to being around kids, welcome to having a weak immune system at the beginning of winter.

Such is life.

Kajsa, though sniffling like crazy, and clearly not feeling well.. still manages to enjoy life. The other night she took 6 steps –twice, and can stand on her own. She’s so proud of herself, it’s adorable. have fun. She’s still crawling around and over and into stuff (including Abby), and keeping us busy. The day before we both got sick, I hosted an informal “Watch the Election results on our small TV screen” party. A few friends came over, and one dog, Kaya. We miss Entropy like crazy. I miss him everyday. So it was good to have another dog in the house for the evening. This first photo is of the two dogs and Kajsa.

The second photo is of Kajsa crawling on a lap-desk type thing. She loves it. I’ve discovered that when I’m sick, I don’t care so much what Kajsa crawls on, as long as nobody or nothing is in danger. And I also had not brushed Kajsa’s hair when this picture was taken–clearly!

And the third picture is just Kajsa being funny–wearing her winter hat inside (her choice) while still in her pajamas as well. She’s a riot. Such a blessing.

and speaking of prayers,

please pray for our friends the Lawrences. On Thursday, before we left for Chicago, Sandie called and told us that Dave had been diagnosed with cancer. It’s horrible, it sucks, it’s scary, the timing is about as bad as it gets. Dave’s already in Alaska, Sandie and the kids are leaving this community next week, and heading to Alaska the following week. It just sucks.

Hopefully it’s in the early stages. They find out more next week. But in the meantime, please keep them in your prayers.

Thank you….

Summer Cologne? and waiting…

Ok, so tonight Jim and I were at a mall, in a department store. We were walking by the mens’ cologne counters… and Jim overheard a man ask the salesperson this question: “What’s a good summer cologne for traveling to the Tropics?”

Pretty funny.

On the adoption front, we’re one step further to our baby! This evening we DHL-ed our acceptance packet back to our adoption agency… stating that we want to adopt Wan Yi Ling (yep, still no English name.. still trying out our options). The process of compiling the acceptance paperwork (including more immigration paperwork, an email to the Milwaukee immigration office saying that our third fingerprint expiration date should be at our house within 2 weeks, etc..) was exhausting. But once we had the packet of information handed over to the DHL guy, it felt fantastic! We can’t wait to meet this little girl.

Re: medical report…the other night (Monday) we received the medical report in Chinese. And I called a lady from our church who is from China, and emailed her the report. She called me later to say that Wan Yi appears normal. And on Tuesday we faxed the translated medical report to a pediatrician, who called me to say that everything appears normal as well, based on what little information we have.

Our acceptance packet should be in the office of our agency by noon tomorrow. The packet will be sent back to China by May 14th. And from there, we continue to wait. Only now we wait with many copies of the same three adorable photos. Of our daughter, waiting for us in China.

now you see them, now you don’t…

Before visiting the ortho last Wednesday, March 26th:

and….. upon returning from the ortho, last week:

Morgan: Alter-Ego

I posted this photo yesterday on the “Lenten Views” webpage: and now I need to explain a little bit. Here’s the story.

Morgan is happily married to Jim, living in Madison, WI. They have 2 kids… (2-year old twins, the result of successful in-vitro over 2 years ago), and are in the process of adopting a girl from China. Their twins are a boy and a girl–Liam and Sydney. (remember, this is Cathy’s alter-ego, not Jim’s!) They can’t wait to travel to China to pick up their girl, and to visit the beautiful country of China.

Morgan is a minister with her husband… she finishes her sermons on Fridays, is never stressed about stuff at church, and is very good at handling stress. In fact, by some unexplained miracle, there seems to be enough time in each day to get everything done! Morgan teaches ESL to immigrants in Madison, and with people from church, she helps run a coffee-shop/after-school center on the corner of Todd Drive and the Beltline…

Photography is central to Morgan’s life, and occasionally she and her friend Jo Ann are hired (by ?) to travel around the world on assignment, photographing various cities and peoples of the world. They can take their families with the–all expenses paid, of course.

Morgan does not have fibromyalgia anymore, though she remembers it well enough that she is sympathetic to those who are in pain. Nor does Morgan have “non-narcolepsy”. She is only sleepy when she misses lots of sleep. Morgan’s ankle doesn’t hurt either, and actually, she’s quite the picture of health.

Morgan’s house is completely uncluttered… and everything has its home. Her friends live near-by… and if they don’t, Morgan is able to visit them frequently, or host them when they frequently visit. Morgan and Jim have 2 dogs–and they actually share one of them with friends who live next door… It’s a marvelous arrangement.

And as long as I’m dreaming, Morgan’s favorite sports team-the Chicago Cubs-won the World Series last year. And, Morgan plays ice hockey in a local league… and…

ok… so enough dreaming… (partly.)

This is actually a Land’s End Inlet towel. One of the advantages of living in Wisconsin is the Land’s End Inlets–kind of like an “outlet”, but called an “inlet”. And when you buy something there that is monogrammed, you get an extra 20% discount. Fun. And so we have towels and other items with fun monograms. So when I bought this towel, I joked that “Morgan” is my alter-ego. Ah… dream on…

Thank you, Alka Seltzer

The other night I did not sleep too well… lots on my mind. In fact, “did not sleep well” is putting it mildly. I managed to watch 2 episodes of “Samantha Who?” on the internet (from my side of the bed, earplugs in); I prayed; I listened to music on the radio; I listened to an online prayer site; I read; nothing made me tired. I tried everything I could to sleep. Nothing worked. Until finally, at 6 am, I slept-for two hours.

So last night, too tired to even function, I took an Alka Seltzer Nighttime pill…. thank you, Alka Seltzer! I slept for 11 hours.

Mental Health Break

It’s been stressful. Life, in general. This latest adoption update (see yesterday’s post) hasn’t helped. And, by the way, one thing I forgot to mention about the latest adoption update: a couple who received a referral in this latest batch had requested an infant, yet received a referral for a 3 or 4 year old. Just when I was starting to think, again, that we might actually get an infant, or a young toddler. Anyhow, I digress…this adoption stuff… other stuff… It’s been stressful.

Today I talked with a friend I hadn’t caught up with in too long… That was good mental health, and emotionally nourishing for me, both to talk about my life, and to hear what’s been going on in hers. It was a good thing. And part of our conversation was while I was walking slowly through Michael’s, then Bed Bath & Beyond, and finally Target, and for some odd reason that was mentally good as well..to walk slowly through these stores, through many aisles.. simply browsing, while talking.

Somewhere at Target I lost my list. You know, my “things to buy/places to go” list, scribbled on a bent, torn sticky note. Sometimes I work on these lists for awhile, until I can justify the gas to do the errands. Today I knew I had lots to do and buy, but more than anything, I really wanted to go out and about. So I had scribbled this list down in the minutes before leaving the house. Maybe it’s the stress, maybe it’s being 37, maybe it’s that I just have a bad memory at times. I don’t know. But when I realized I had lost my list, I suddenly forgot everything on it. Good thing I had already bought some items. Too bad I forgot the ones I needed. Oh well.

I did remember, however, that I had contemplated going to Half Price Books. I have been reading The Irrational Season by Madeleine L’Engle, but the copy I’m reading (which I purchased at Half Price Books a couple of years ago) is literally falling apart. So I thought… if I could find another cheap copy, then I could finish the book without having to literally pick up the pages. I never found that book… but I spent two hours browsing the store. I haven’t book-browsed in a long time. Way too long. It was so much fun. Granted, probably half of that time was spent looking at books that could potentially help me in the various stresses I am trying to manage/resolve/ignore… but aside from that, it was so good. So nourishing, so fun, so needed.

Good way to spend time I didn’t really have. And good mental health break.

Adoption Blues

Yep… that time again. Time to sing the adoption blues. Apparently some referrals came in over the past 2 days… and those referrals didn’t cover much ground. In other words, only families with LID through 12/20/05 received referrals. So it’s slow going, still. There had been some rumors of things speeding up… rumors that I shouldn’t have believed, but somehow, somewhere in my hardened heart, I found it in me to believe in that hope. Ha. I’ve learned my lesson again!

Now, this news is yet to be confirmed by our agency, though the online rumor mills have been bustling since yesterday. These online reports have even included the orphanage photos of the recent referrals, from families who received these referrals. Eeesh… It’s looking as if we may not receive a referral in February after all. If things continue at this pace, we may not receive a referral until May or June.

So, the adoption blues continue. Oh well. I’m actually kind of numb right now. Which is a good thing, I guess.

Another good thing, completely unrelated to adoption: I feel much better physically, today. I’d say, at this point, I’m probably at 95% of my “normal” health status. Thank you, God.