Lent 9: Refuge

22 02 2013

Late, again. Oh well.

Last night Jim, Kajsa and I went to Margarita’s Restaurant, to eat dinner… we went to help support “Relay for Life”, and, specifically, “Cheryl’s Angels”. 5% of last night’s proceeds went towards this team. As we were sitting in the booth waiting for our food, I looked over at Kajsa’s satchel (that’s what she calls it), and her newest stuffed animal–a Beanie Baby named “Hopper” was in it. I snapped this photo, because it immediately made me think about how Kajsa carefully takes care of Hopper. Mostly. Of course, she’s five-and-a-half, so isn’t the world’s most attentive parent, even to a Beanie Baby. But for the most part, she holds it carefully, pets it gently, wraps it up in blankets, sets it down carefully to take a nap. When she goes outside, she likes to shield it a little from the wind and cold. She even wants to strap her stuffed animals in seat belts on car trips.

Obviously, God cares and loves us more than we care for Beanie Babies. And even each other. I hope, at least. Psalm 91 talks about God’s protection, about God being our refuge… of course, Psalm 91 also states some confusing things–things like, “If you say ‘the Lord is my refuge,’ and you make the Most High your dwelling, no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent…” (Psalm 91:9-10). Confusing because, clearly, harm does come, disaster happens all the time. Image

I remain confused and often frustrated by Scriptures such as this, which say that God will protect and rescue people who call on him. But at this point, at least today, I am willing to remain confused and frustrated. This doesn’t always happen–that I’m willing to remain confused. Normally I want the answers, I want to know why, I want to cry out to God. And I’m sure those feelings and thoughts and actions will return to me –maybe even in an hour. But for now, I’m trying to yield to God my need to understand it all. And I’m trying to rest in the reality that God is still God… that God still loves…. and that God is still my refuge.