Lent 4: Razzleberry Pie

16 02 2013

Marie Callender. Ugh. Jim bought this pie months ago and stuck it in the freezer. Safely tucked away so that we could see it each time we opened the freezer… but the hour it takes to bake and the couple more hours it takes to cool to its best temperature… that’s just enough time that when you open the freezer door and temptation stares back… you can forget about it. It takes too long.

Lent 4: Razzleberry PieThe other day I was out doing errands, and when I walked in the house, it smelled incredible! Yep… Jim baked the Razzleberry Pie! Yum. It’s crazy good, if you like flaky crust, berries, and pie. I did not give up sweets for Lent. So it’s not as though Razzleberry Pie should be that bad for me. However I am supposed to be on an “Anti-Inflammatory” Diet. My doctor wants me to cut out as many processed foods as possible, increase lean proteins, high-omega 3 fats, whole grains, dark green leafy vegetables, etc. And almonds. Lots of almonds.

I’m an adult. I make my own food choices 99% of the time. Including this week, when I ate some pie. I cannot blame Marie Callender, and I cannot blame Jim for baking the pie. Am I allowed to treat myself at times? Sure. My doctor even says so. But a small piece (and a big piece) of the pie might contribute to increased fibromyalgia pain in the coming days… which could make me grumpy…. I’d be less patient with others…. I might end up not being as focused as I need to be…I’d then feel guilty about not doing as well as I should… then feel even more grumpy….  you get the picture.

Can all this actually happen because of a piece or two of pie, you ask? I think so. At least for me. I had my doubts back in April 2012, when I first began seeing this doctor. But experience has taught me otherwise. It also might be fine. But the point is, I made a choice this week. That choice is not the biggest deal in my life. By a long shot. But it is a small choice that could have further affects.

So it is with sin, and yielding – or not yielding – our lives to God. I wish it were as easy as pie. Even Marie Callender. It’s not always that easy. Sigh. Such is life. And, thanks to the grace of God, we carry on… one choice after another, continuing to learn as we go along.


5 03 2010

I did take this photo yesterday! But as I was writing this blog, I literally fell asleep. So here’s what I was writing.

Thurs., March 4th

What’s the connection between garbanzo beans and a clock? Easy: time. I don’t have enough of it–none of us do. At least that’s what we often say. Yet, repentance calls for a complete turning around. Not just blogging about it, talking about it, reading about it, and praying about it. Doing it. Repenting.. Turning around. It’s an action–ongoing, because our sin is ongoing.

I’d rather blog, talk, read, and pray about it. Because for me, part of my repentance this Lent needs to involve changing my sleeping (or non-sleeping) habits. I’d rather go to bed late than early. Which then affects my days and my nights and my family and my health (fatigue and fibromyalgia) and what I can and can’t do the next day. Like, eat healthier. It sounds dumb, but hear me out–when I’m more fatigued, I have less energy to intentionally eat healthy.

This is where the garbanzo beans come in. I could, technically, make hummus. It’s a fairly healthy Middle Eastern dip that could give more energy. Lasting energy. The hard part is, I’ve let myself get stuck in this vicious cycle of being too tired… going to bed too late… eating unhealthy foods… and not having the energy to jump out of the cycle and change my patterns. To turn around, repent..

So, here I go.. thinking about, blogging about, probably looking up a recipe about garbanzo beans/hummus.  Let’s hope I make the time to reTHINK my time and patterns by repenting, and reADJUSTING what I do.

Morgan: Alter-Ego

28 02 2008

I posted this photo yesterday on the “Lenten Views” webpage: and now I need to explain a little bit. Here’s the story.

100_9262_2.jpgMorgan is happily married to Jim, living in Madison, WI. They have 2 kids… (2-year old twins, the result of successful in-vitro over 2 years ago), and are in the process of adopting a girl from China. Their twins are a boy and a girl–Liam and Sydney. (remember, this is Cathy’s alter-ego, not Jim’s!) They can’t wait to travel to China to pick up their girl, and to visit the beautiful country of China.

Morgan is a minister with her husband… she finishes her sermons on Fridays, is never stressed about stuff at church, and is very good at handling stress. In fact, by some unexplained miracle, there seems to be enough time in each day to get everything done! Morgan teaches ESL to immigrants in Madison, and with people from church, she helps run a coffee-shop/after-school center on the corner of Todd Drive and the Beltline…

Photography is central to Morgan’s life, and occasionally she and her friend Jo Ann are hired (by ?) to travel around the world on assignment, photographing various cities and peoples of the world. They can take their families with the–all expenses paid, of course.

Morgan does not have fibromyalgia anymore, though she remembers it well enough that she is sympathetic to those who are in pain. Nor does Morgan have “non-narcolepsy”. She is only sleepy when she misses lots of sleep. Morgan’s ankle doesn’t hurt either, and actually, she’s quite the picture of health.

Morgan’s house is completely uncluttered… and everything has its home. Her friends live near-by… and if they don’t, Morgan is able to visit them frequently, or host them when they frequently visit. Morgan and Jim have 2 dogs–and they actually share one of them with friends who live next door… It’s a marvelous arrangement.

And as long as I’m dreaming, Morgan’s favorite sports team-the Chicago Cubs-won the World Series last year. And, Morgan plays ice hockey in a local league… and…

ok… so enough dreaming… (partly.)

This is actually a Land’s End Inlet towel. One of the advantages of living in Wisconsin is the Land’s End Inlets–kind of like an “outlet”, but called an “inlet”. And when you buy something there that is monogrammed, you get an extra 20% discount. Fun. And so we have towels and other items with fun monograms. So when I bought this towel, I joked that “Morgan” is my alter-ego. Ah… dream on…


13 12 2007

Advent is about waiting…

I waited for a long time to get this photo. (I tried to post it here, but had problems…) It was active waiting. The icicle dripped constantly. And I took many photos. Of the same shot. And only caught the cool drip twice. This is one of the photos I got.

If only everything else about life… having a baby (and no, waiting for 9 months is not the same as more than 5 years…), adopting, work, having an uncluttered home, being fibro-free and able to go through a day without wanting to take a nap… and many other things… if only the waiting for these other things only took about 6 minutes and 50+ photography shots.

At least I got an icicle drip.

Catching Up

6 10 2007

I’m freaking out. We leave tomorrow for Chicago, and fly out of Chicago on Monday to Peru. PERU! I still can’t believe it sometimes. I’m so excited I can hardly stand it. And I’m so nervous about the pre-trip “to do” list getting done, that I can’t stay excited.

The dogs were happy to see us, but love Michelle, too, who stayed here while we were gone. Thanks, Michelle. Sandie & Co. are staying here while we’re in Peru. Thanks, Sandie & Co. We’ll miss the dogs.

Adoption update: the referral timeline is now 22 months, officially. Translation= our LID is 1/12/06… referral timeline begins clocking on LID. So, we’ve been waiting for referral for almost 21 months. IF things stay at 22 months, we should get a referral in November. Meaning, travel 6-8 weeks after. IF. Not likely, according to sources. More likely that things will continue to lengthen.
I had so much more to say on this blog, but seem to have forgotten it all. There’s a lot going on. Please pray for me: health (fibromyalgia and not getting sick in Peru), resolution of some circumstances, and, hope. I need hope. Ok, now, more than hope, I need to get to that “to-do” list.

The Limited

29 08 2007

“The limited”… my new name for those of us limited by circumstances beyond our control. (Believe it or not, I’m not talking about infertility here, though I could!) Those of us unable to do the things we would like to do, and people our ages and phases of life should technically be able to do….but can’t, because of the way life is. Granted, on some days I self-limit. I don’t want to do anything, I feel lazy, maybe I’m afraid of taking some steps with something…. That happens occasionally.

But on days like yesterday, fibromyalgia’s the culprit. I fall into the category of “the limited” thanks to fibro. I experience fibro pain on most days, but it’s not usually so limiting. But then I have days like yesterday, when I wake up knowing it’s going to be a bad fibro day. The pain is intense: my arms and hands hurt, my entire body aches, it literally pains me to even lift a coffee cup. I’m painfully aware that I cannot do everything I’d like to do, and it’s frustrating beyond belief. I’m too young for this. It’s not fair. Yet I’m also grateful… grateful that my fibro is not as bad as it could be. Grateful that I am able to do so many things on the good days, which far out-number the bad days. And grateful that God has given me the strength to do what I need to do, when I need to do it. Mostly.

I still grow frustrated at my own limitations. But I’m also aware that there are too many people in our world who are limited by much worse than my level of fibromyalgia. Things like extreme poverty, racism, sexism, lack of education, being the victim of a horrible crime or accident… these, and countless other circumstances, are horrible… I can’t imagine the extreme limitations some people push through everyday.

Today I still feel somewhat limited… but better. Hopefully tomorrow will be even better. And whether it is or is not, I remember that I am not alone. So for those of you feeling limited today, or this week, or whenever… limited by circumstances beyond your control– I may not feel your exact pain, but I am with you in spirit…