Adoption Blues

3 01 2008

Yep… that time again. Time to sing the adoption blues. Apparently some referrals came in over the past 2 days… and those referrals didn’t cover much ground. In other words, only families with LID through 12/20/05 received referrals. So it’s slow going, still. There had been some rumors of things speeding up… rumors that I shouldn’t have believed, but somehow, somewhere in my hardened heart, I found it in me to believe in that hope. Ha. I’ve learned my lesson again!

Now, this news is yet to be confirmed by our agency, though the online rumor mills have been bustling since yesterday. These online reports have even included the orphanage photos of the recent referrals, from families who received these referrals. Eeesh… It’s looking as if we may not receive a referral in February after all. If things continue at this pace, we may not receive a referral until May or June.

So, the adoption blues continue. Oh well. I’m actually kind of numb right now. Which is a good thing, I guess.

Another good thing, completely unrelated to adoption: I feel much better physically, today. I’d say, at this point, I’m probably at 95% of my “normal” health status. Thank you, God.

the past week

1 01 2008

Just some pix. I’ve been sick, exhausted, and on vacation. Aside from those first two negatives, however, there have been some fun times in the past week. So here are some moments in pictures…

Sledding on Christmas Day

Our Christmas tree… I love our tree… I’m going to miss it.

Al’s Breakfast in Dinkytown, Minneapolis. Best pancakes in the world: Wally Blue’s.

Hiking with the dogs… along the Mississippi River.

Minnesota Wild game… after we won in overtime.

After the game.

I might be going to hell…

14 12 2007

if the phrase, “the road to hell is paved with good intentions” is true. Thankfully, though it may be partially true, I realize there’s more to it than that. But, just for a split second today, I realized that my “good intentions” list has been growing and growing… and my actual productivity level has not been growing in proportion. So, here are some of the many things I fully intended to do this week or last week or last month or even today:

send a Thanksgiving letter

write a Thanksgiving letter

catch up on work I’m behind on (church work)

reply to all those emails that came in that I’ve forgotten about, yet need a response

send a Christmas letter

write a Christmas letter

send Christmas gifts to friends and family

buy Christmas gifts for friends and family

post today’s Advent photo before noon

take today’s Advent photo before noon

respond to hard words rather than react

go to bed earlier than 12:30 am

walk the dogs today

forgive someone hard to forgive

ask for forgiveness

write a letter of appreciation for someone who is leaving his position

clean the house

move the home office downstairs

organize my winter clothes

start our child’s nursery

call friends and family

start sermon early

finish my list of “necessary phone calls” yesterday

Advent devotions today

call youth to see how they’re doing

read a book

read several books

play in the snow with the dogs

blog several times in the past week

read the newspaper

play the geography games online that help me learn world geography

check our adoption paperwork to see if it’s all good (might need to be fingerprinted again… joy)

call my Mom

spend less time on the computer


do my laundry

clean my church office

finish my Guatemala ’06 scrapbook

and many many more things….

ah, well… such is life. Good intentions are great, but now I need to work on some of these items. Thank goodness–no, thank God–for grace.

headaches, roofers, and dogs, oh my!

20 11 2007

I woke up yesterday with a headache. Not surprising, because I’ve been a bit stressed recently. But then the roofers came. Yep. I was hoping to go to work, but my head hurt so much I could hardly move. I thought about going to work to sleep on the church office floor, because the pounding noise of the roofers above was making my head want to burst. But I stayed home, because (a) I could hardly move, and (b) I felt bad for the dogs, with all that noise. They don’t like it. They cringe. Abby moves around, trying to find a safe place to hide. Entropy gives me a look like, “What the heck are you doing to us?”

The good news is, today my head feels better… the roofers were kind enough to show up late, and I was able to sleep in, and the dogs… well, the dogs are in for a long day again.

Catching Up

6 10 2007

I’m freaking out. We leave tomorrow for Chicago, and fly out of Chicago on Monday to Peru. PERU! I still can’t believe it sometimes. I’m so excited I can hardly stand it. And I’m so nervous about the pre-trip “to do” list getting done, that I can’t stay excited.

The dogs were happy to see us, but love Michelle, too, who stayed here while we were gone. Thanks, Michelle. Sandie & Co. are staying here while we’re in Peru. Thanks, Sandie & Co. We’ll miss the dogs.

Adoption update: the referral timeline is now 22 months, officially. Translation= our LID is 1/12/06… referral timeline begins clocking on LID. So, we’ve been waiting for referral for almost 21 months. IF things stay at 22 months, we should get a referral in November. Meaning, travel 6-8 weeks after. IF. Not likely, according to sources. More likely that things will continue to lengthen.
I had so much more to say on this blog, but seem to have forgotten it all. There’s a lot going on. Please pray for me: health (fibromyalgia and not getting sick in Peru), resolution of some circumstances, and, hope. I need hope. Ok, now, more than hope, I need to get to that “to-do” list.

I’m loving it…

31 08 2007

Feeling good today, and loving it. Getting lots done… loving that. I don’t know how long this will last but hey, I’ll take it while I have it. Last night we had a great time at the Lawrence’s house. Yesterday morning I went and visited my new Cambodian friends near church, and saw photos of Cambodia, their weddings, the kids, etc. I loved that.

Anyhow, time to keep cranking on getting stuff done, and hopefully even blog more!

The Limited

29 08 2007

“The limited”… my new name for those of us limited by circumstances beyond our control. (Believe it or not, I’m not talking about infertility here, though I could!) Those of us unable to do the things we would like to do, and people our ages and phases of life should technically be able to do….but can’t, because of the way life is. Granted, on some days I self-limit. I don’t want to do anything, I feel lazy, maybe I’m afraid of taking some steps with something…. That happens occasionally.

But on days like yesterday, fibromyalgia’s the culprit. I fall into the category of “the limited” thanks to fibro. I experience fibro pain on most days, but it’s not usually so limiting. But then I have days like yesterday, when I wake up knowing it’s going to be a bad fibro day. The pain is intense: my arms and hands hurt, my entire body aches, it literally pains me to even lift a coffee cup. I’m painfully aware that I cannot do everything I’d like to do, and it’s frustrating beyond belief. I’m too young for this. It’s not fair. Yet I’m also grateful… grateful that my fibro is not as bad as it could be. Grateful that I am able to do so many things on the good days, which far out-number the bad days. And grateful that God has given me the strength to do what I need to do, when I need to do it. Mostly.

I still grow frustrated at my own limitations. But I’m also aware that there are too many people in our world who are limited by much worse than my level of fibromyalgia. Things like extreme poverty, racism, sexism, lack of education, being the victim of a horrible crime or accident… these, and countless other circumstances, are horrible… I can’t imagine the extreme limitations some people push through everyday.

Today I still feel somewhat limited… but better. Hopefully tomorrow will be even better. And whether it is or is not, I remember that I am not alone. So for those of you feeling limited today, or this week, or whenever… limited by circumstances beyond your control– I may not feel your exact pain, but I am with you in spirit…

Went to the doctor and the doctor said…

5 04 2007

no narcolepsy.

Cathy says…. That’s fine, as long as I can be told why I’m so sleepy. Which I haven’t been told. Sleep Doctor did say that I have to get a consistent 8 hours of sleep a night for 3 weeks. Hmph.

If I was truly misdiagnosed 9 years ago, I’m so incredibly frustrated. (to put it mildly) I took narcolepsy drugs for several years.. could there have been something else wrong? And, my former-Madison-doctor made a huge deal out of narcolepsy for the adoption paperwork, putting us behind a month… I think I’ve mentioned that before. But it was frustrating then, and even more frustrating now, if I didn’t even have narcolepsy.

Then again, if I wasn’t misdiagnosed 9 years ago… I’m even more frustrated, because that means I currently have narcolepsy, and could be getting appropriate treatment. And, it means one more doctor on my list who refuses to think outside the box. That should be a category when seeking new medical professionals: thinks outside the box? Yes or No…

I’m going to watch tonight’s CSI episode, then try and get my 8 hours.

Still Sleepy (and frustrated) in Madison…..

Ick, Movie, and the Cubs

2 04 2007

Ick. I’m sick today. It started yesterday, when I woke up from an afternoon nap with a runny nose, sore throat, and ear-ache. So today I didn’t go to work, cancelled my appointment, and am finally sitting up… for a few more minutes.

Last night I went to youth group at church, to see what goes on, etc. They were also watching The Passion of the Christ, directed by that wonderful man Mel Gibson. (sarcasm, in case you didn’t recognize it) A few years ago when the movie came out, I really didn’t want to see it. I still didn’t. But it wasn’t as bad as I thought it might be. Violent, yes. Quite violent. Unnecessarily so in some parts, I thought. But fairly good, despite Mel’s frequent poetic license usage.

Today is Opening Day for the Chicago Cubs.. at Cincinnati.. Go CUBS!!!! I have a little more hope this year, as Dusty was finally fired, and Lou Piniella has come on board. But so far, in the 6th Inning, things aren’t looking too good. Jim says it’s only the first game… Still, I shouldn’t admit this, because Cubs fans are always supposed to hope, right? But here I go.. I have about as much hope that the Cubs will do well this season as I do that we’ll have our daughter by the end of summer…. May I be proven wrong on both hopeless situations!

Ok, I’ve been sitting up about as long as I can. Time to go horizontal again.

the side effects

22 03 2007

of the nap study, which I didn’t notice until late last night…. if you look closely, you can see the rectangular red splotch on my left cheek. No I wasn’t paddled on my head. But I did have 14 electrodes hooked up to my head yesterday, and last night/this morning I had 6 of these red splotch marks! They’ve faded, fortunately, but I think it’s kind of funny, so took a picture.